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The M3 wheels fit better than the 400M, but I could not tell you had the M-Perf brakes and rotors until someone mentioned it. Too much metal. For that reason alone, I'd put the 400M back on with spacers to push them out a bit. Better yet, sell both 400M for $1600 and the M3's for whatever and get some wheels with a nice open design.
At end of lease, sell what wheels you have and buy a depreciated set of 400M's. Easy-peasy.
People here love the xenons. IMO, they are a little overrated. Like you, I didn't know what lights came with my F30. I think the upgraded brakes are far more important than the xenons, which you got (but can't see).
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