Thank you everyone
My mistake is that I've been too indecisive and irrational about what I want: in a woman, and many more things. Luckily, I get to use this event as an experience I can learn from, and be clearer and more assertive in the future. Excited to get another opportunity and enjoy the many things life has to offer.
Very wise opinions in this thread, will definitely keep it in my favorites and come back to it often as a reminder.