From what you have described, sounds like you did the right thing, especially with adaptive. Have you gone for variable sports steering too?
I agree like you, I'm done with revving the nuts off cars to get performance from it. Nothing wrong with a high revving petrol engine and they do sound better but day to day, a diesel is easier to live with 95% of the time IMO in terms of performance on tap.
Interesting to hear the 335d still felt a bit quicker than a F30 330d despite the 330d 0-60 being quicker. To be expected though as the bhp and torque is more in the 335d.