It's really difficult choosing the options, I changed mine 3 times after I'd ordered before it went into production!
Only you can decide what you want and need really; the Adaptive suspension is fantastic as it really transforms the car compared with either the M Sport passive suspension (in both directions: comfort and sport) or the standard suspension; the sports seats are also pretty crucial IMO; personally I'd recommend getting both of those with any F30. Speakers you can probably live without if you have to make the choice.
If you get the SE I would definitely get the adaptive suspension and sports seats. Given just the choice of the two you've given above, I'd go 330SE with sports seats and adaptive suspension (I'd recommend the adaptive even with the M Sport anyway). The rest of the M Sport additions that you're missing out on are pretty much cosmetic, and you've got the much nicer engine in the 330D