[joewalton]

Is it cool to spell "loser" as "loser" or "looza"?

[schrickm5]

I normally switch the music off for the last 20-30 minutes so I can be alone in my thoughts, and find myself thinking about work, family and running/training. It feels a little bit like when I am out running actually - you amuse yourself with your inner thoughts.

[F32]

OP, you are trying way too hard.

[jamesems]

Texting?
j/k - driving the car is all the "little pleasure" i need

But Tony .....

Being possessed of self-awareness, intrepidity, sanguinity, and pluck usually isn't how we begin life?"
Paraphrasing latin?
Pinky ring and dinner jackets?
"Stating" how you're outside the crowd, expressive and unique?

Being you doesn't need an announcement to be cool. Sorry friend, - Bumptious, ostentatious, pretentious (refer.Merriam-Weber.com)

Beltway mimeograph.

[jamesems]

Originally Posted by F32

OP, you are trying way too hard.

This

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by F32

OP, you are trying way too hard.

Trying to what?

[300hp]

@ tony
I am 35 and I am starting to try and figure out how best to enjoy my life with my family. This thread that you started was actually quite refreshing.

I also used to work for a place with 1 to 5 ratings. 5 meant you are getting fired, 4 most likely to get fired and 1 was heaven. I wish I had the balls to do what you did, however given my tiny contribution to the bottom line would have meant if I tried something similar, I would have been fired

[swamy]

what a thread! there are many but driving through a valley & occasionally downshifting to conquer hills with the evening sun setting & 80s music playing is always sweet

[vince217]

i love flooring the accelerator as i merge onto the freeway, or from a toll booth. my kids LOVE the thrust and the sound, even if it is 'just' a e92 328i. it really made them feel like they were in a race car.

my 6yr old actually cried when recently had to trade it in for something more practical. he never did that with our other cars when we traded them in (Audi A4, VW Passat)... thats BMW love right there.

i hope this answered OP's question.

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by vince217

...

my 6yr old actually cried when recently had to trade it in for something more practical. he never did that with our other cars when we traded them in (Audi A4, VW Passat)... thats BMW love right there.

i hope this answered OP's question.

You made a 6 year old cry!!! You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Bimmerfestool]

Originally Posted by tony20009

I started this thread because I recently completed a couple of the key goals I'd set for my life. I thought, then, about what aspect(s) of "me" allowed me to do that. I realized it was that in nearly every situation I find myself, I take the time to find something about it I like, even if I was sitting in a jail cell after having been apprehended for allegedly DUI. (The police's claim; I did not admit to being intoxicated, and I won in court, but there I sat in a jail cell all the same.)

Like many of you I spend a fair amount of time in my car. Thus, if one cannot find things to enjoy while driving, one spends a good deal of time, if not specifically unhappy, not happy. And I chose this particular situation to ask you folks about because there are only so many pleasurable things one can do relatively safely while also driving a car. So if you can't readily come up with some things on your own, perhaps you'll consider what I and others post here as suggestions you may care to try out. I wondered what things/activities are on your lists because it hurt to try to find the joy in things you may not have before considered as capable of giving any. Things that come to mind for me:

• Commercial-free, talk-free, music only radio
• Automatic windshield wipers
• McDonald's sweet tea
• The 250th - 300th horses under hood
• Deftly dodging divots and potholes

And here's something my ex-wife would have said: seeing the sun make my engagement ring go bling.

She won't say that now, because I got that big ass f*cker (2 ct. main stone and eight 20 pointers) back as part of the division of property and had it set into a pinky ring. But on the rare occasions I wear it during the day when the sun shines brightly, I have to give the demon her due and agree that it's a joyful thing to see the bling from that ring.

I think I can see where the cops were coming from when they arrested you. You do sound intoxicated.

[pkimM3r]

wait so you took the diamond from your ex's ring and converted to your pinky ring? thats still a lady ring man. LOL

plus i wouldn't be wearing shit she used to wear - unless you don't mind thinking of her do you?

[F32]

Originally Posted by Bimmerfestool

I think I can see where the cops were coming from when they arrested you. You do sound intoxicated.

No, not drunk...just a try-hard.

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by pkim1079

wait so you took the diamond from your ex's ring and converted to your pinky ring? thats still a lady ring man. LOL

plus i wouldn't be wearing shit she used to wear - unless you don't mind thinking of her do you?

Say what? A stone is a stone is a stone. The setting it's put in will determine whether it's a man's ring or woman's. I see what you wrote, but it doesn't make sense to me.

I can't help but think about her. She's still the mother of my children, and I see her at least once a month. She was a sh*tty wife, but she's shown herself to be a great mother to our children and, in the years since the divorce, friend to me (but friend isn't what she was when we were married). In contrast, her mother's sole redeeming quality is that she gave birth to someone who's become a very fine parent. But see, even there, I can find something positive to say, and that was the point of this thread, I believe.

I feel certain that neither she nor I have any regrets that she gave me my ring back. She kept all the other jewelry I'd given her. I didn't want it back and I doubt she wanted to give it back.

[pkimM3r]

Originally Posted by tony20009

Say what? A stone is a stone is a stone. The setting it's put in will determine whether it's a man's ring or woman's. I see what you wrote, but it doesn't make sense to me.

I can't help but think about her. She's still the mother of my children, and I see her at least once a month. She was a sh*tty wife, but she's shown herself to be a great mother to our children and, in the years since the divorce, friend to me. In contrast, her mother's sole redeeming quality is that she gave birth to someone who's become a very fine parent. But see, even there, I can find something positive to say, and that was the point of this thread, I believe.

I feel certain that neither she nor I have any regrets that she gave me my ring back. She kept all the other jewelry I'd given her. I didn't want it back and I doubt she wanted to give it back.

wait, she didn't want to give it back and you didn't want it back yet you still have it? is this a legal thing? because if I felt that way, even if it was on paper i would have just let her keep it.

so just a shitty wife but a good friend. still strange. im not saying not to wear it thats your decision but i find it extremely odd. how does the conversation go in the bar?

nice pinky ring.
it was my ex-wife's.
oh..........

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by tony20009

...

I feel certain that neither she nor I have any regrets that she gave me my ring back. She kept all the other jewelry I'd given her. I didn't want it back and I doubt she wanted to give it back.

Thought flow:
our disposition of a single piece of jewelry --> our disposition of her other jewelry in general -->parting thought on why she kept the other jewelry

What made you think I suddenly reverted back to her engagement ring for the final sentence in that paragraph? I guess I could have been less ambiguous, but usually one will either follow a flow of specific to general, or general to specific when writing short paragraphs that are not entirely focused on one single set of subjects and objects. A break in thought to return to an earlier subject is most commonly handled by explicitly letting the reader know that's what's happening. It was nice of you to inquire rather than draw a conclusion when you weren't sure of the thought sequence and what initially came to your mind as being the flow of thought clearly didn't make much sense.

She and I don't go to bars together, and you'll never find me wearing that ring in a bar, unless the bar happens to be the venue for a formal event I'm attending. We do attend each other's cookouts and holiday events, discuss all sorts of things with each other on the phone and via email, and we chat at social events to which we both were invited. If she picks up the kids and we're eating something when she arrives, she may or may not join us. The same may happen when I pick them up from her home. If she's got the kids and there's a power outage, she and her husband may even come by and spend the night, particularly if they had the kids at the time the power went out. Lastly, we might take the kids to a cultural event together. That tends to be more of "I'm taking the kids to X and the tickets are going to go quickly. Do you want to go?" Or "[Her husband] can't go to such and such with me and [one or more of our kids] and I have an extra ticket. Do you want to go too?"

In short, we got divorced, we didn't declare war on each other. We both wanted to minimize the emotional upheaval and financial pain of the event and do what was best for everyone involved, her, me, the kids and our immediate families. I kept the family's home, she got the vacation home and money and bought a nice condo appropriate to her needs at the time. We did that to keep the kids' stress to a minimum and because I have a ton of relatives who visit often, whereas she has but two. I entertain socially and professionally, and she didn't.

FWIW, I get along with her husband and the guys she dated after we parted, but only as social or in the case of one of them, professional acquaintances. None of us guys seeks a reason to hang out with each other. But, inasmuch as they were/are involved to greater and/or lesser degrees in my kids' lives, I'm certainly not going to let them be an issue, and neither would my ex regarding the women I see. The guy whom she married is a decent fellow. Occasionally, he get hold of box seats at sporting events, and he's always kind enough to invite me when he does. If I'm going to be in town, I accept his offer. I return the favor by letting him and my ex have liberal access to a flat I have overseas or by giving them some of my travel perqs like free hotel suites or system wide flight upgrades.

My ex and I both cherish our kids and when we first came to realize the marriage wasn't worth keeping, we both went out of our way to make sure our kids understood that our problems had nothing to do with them. Even initially when we first decided to start the process of parting, I moved into the guest cottage at my home rather than the two of us starting by finding completely separate homes. Our kids were fairly young then and we both felt it important that we both still be very present in their lives. They are all a good deal older now and they understand, so that's not really an issue.

I won't say there wasn't some degree of anger, disappointment, bitterness, angst, etc. initially, but we both subverted those emotions, at least the outward signs of them, for the sake of our kids. Yes, even now, if I spend time thinking about the "straws that broke the camel's back," I get a bit miffed. Nonetheless, the fact remains that she and I started as friends and the things that made us good friends to start are still part of our respective characters. Besides, what good can come of harboring rage and making an enemy out of someone who's been your spouse, especially if that person will continue to travel in the same social circles you do?

When folks compliment my ring, I just say, "Thank you," unless they have some specific question or comment to share. They don't need to know the history of the stone, and I don't volunteer it. (I have to admit that I have yet to attend a social function and have a complete stranger approach me asking if I'm the guy on B-post etc., etc., etc.) If they ask were I came by it, I tell them the truth: I had in mind a ring design that I wanted to have made and I was shopping for a diamond to put in the ring and the jeweler showed me the one in my ring and I liked that it was rather special in that it rated high on all four cees. So that's how I picked it. They may ask for the jeweler's name, which I give them, but that's the end of the conversation about the ring itself.

The few folks who do know the stone's whole history with me are close family friends or relatives, and how my ex and I settled the matter of our divorce has nothing to do with them, so they don't have anything to say about it. Moreover, why would anyone want to keep a ring/stone that was given to me as a symbol of something that no longer exists? She and I both have a harder time understanding why one would want to keep such a thing than we do understanding why one would give it back. There's many things once can call my ex, but gold digger isn't one of them.

Given this discussion, you might naturally wonder about the wedding rings. I gave mine to her; she kept the one I gave her. (It had diamonds all the way round it, so it was hardly an inexpensive trinket.) I knew I was unlikely to remarry given the time constraints of my career, that being one of the key things causing our break-up. We both thought she might remarry and we both agreed that at the very least, she could sell them both or trade them in for something else. Later, I gave her the accent stones from her engagement ring and she had them and the wedding rings made into a necklace she and I gave our daughter for her sixteenth birthday. If the subject of our rings were to come up -- and it hasn't since she told me what she planned regarding my daughter's 16th and I in turn offered the accent stones -- I would speculate it might be in connection to our daughter's necklace.

Your curiosity on this matter is surprising to me. Are you going through a break-up of some sort? Or perhaps your divorce was less amicable? Or are you just looking for ways to poke fun at an unfortunate event in someone else's life?

[drob23]

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by drob23

What's confusing you?

[IM2C]

Drinking and posting. QFT.

Originally Posted by tony20009

Thought flow:
our disposition of a single piece of jewelry --> our disposition of her other jewelry in general -->parting thought on why she kept the other jewelry

What made you think I suddenly reverted back to her engagement ring for the final sentence in that paragraph? I guess I could have been less ambiguous, but usually one will either follow a flow of specific to general, or general to specific when writing short paragraphs that are not entirely focused on one single set of subjects and objects. A break in thought to return to an earlier subject is most commonly handled by explicitly letting the reader know that's what's happening. It was nice of you to inquire rather than draw a conclusion when you weren't sure of the thought sequence and what initially came to your mind as being the flow of thought clearly didn't make much sense.

She and I don't go to bars together, and you'll never find me wearing that ring in a bar, unless the bar happens to be the venue for a formal event I'm attending. We do attend each other's cookouts and holiday events, discuss all sorts of things with each other on the phone and via email, and we chat at social events to which we both were invited. If she picks up the kids and we're eating something when she arrives, she may or may not join us. The same may happen when I pick them up from her home. If she's got the kids and there's a power outage, she and her husband may even come by and spend the night, particularly if they had the kids at the time the power went out. Lastly, we might take the kids to a cultural event together. That tends to be more of "I'm taking the kids to X and the tickets are going to go quickly. Do you want to go?" Or "[Her husband] can't go to such and such with me and [one or more of our kids] and I have an extra ticket. Do you want to go too?"

In short, we got divorced, we didn't declare war on each other. We both wanted to minimize the emotional upheaval and financial pain of the event and do what was best for everyone involved, her, me, the kids and our immediate families. I kept the family's home, she got the vacation home and money and bought a nice condo appropriate to her needs at the time. We did that to keep the kids' stress to a minimum and because I have a ton of relatives who visit often, whereas she has but two. I entertain socially and professionally, and she didn't.

FWIW, I get along with her husband and the guys she dated after we parted, but only as social or in the case of one of them, professional acquaintances. None of us guys seeks a reason to hang out with each other. But, inasmuch as they were/are involved to greater and/or lesser degrees in my kids' lives, I'm certainly not going to let them be an issue, and neither would my ex regarding the women I see. The guy whom she married is a decent fellow. Occasionally, he get hold of box seats at sporting events, and he's always kind enough to invite me when he does. If I'm going to be in town, I accept his offer. I return the favor by letting him and my ex have liberal access to a flat I have overseas or by giving them some of my travel perqs like free hotel suites or system wide flight upgrades.

My ex and I both cherish our kids and when we first came to realize the marriage wasn't worth keeping, we both went out of our way to make sure our kids understood that our problems had nothing to do with them. Even initially when we first decided to start the process of parting, I moved into the guest cottage at my home rather than the two of us starting by finding completely separate homes. Our kids were fairly young then and we both felt it important that we both still be very present in their lives. They are all a good deal older now and they understand, so that's not really an issue.

I won't say there wasn't some degree of anger, disappointment, bitterness, angst, etc. initially, but we both subverted those emotions, at least the outward signs of them, for the sake of our kids. Yes, even now, if I spend time thinking about the "straws that broke the camel's back," I get a bit miffed. Nonetheless, the fact remains that she and I started as friends and the things that made us good friends to start are still part of our respective characters. Besides, what good can come of harboring rage and making an enemy out of someone who's been your spouse, especially if that person will continue to travel in the same social circles you do?

When folks compliment my ring, I just say, "Thank you," unless they have some specific question or comment to share. They don't need to know the history of the stone, and I don't volunteer it. (I have to admit that I have yet to attend a social function and have a complete stranger approach me asking if I'm the guy on B-post etc., etc., etc.) If they ask were I came by it, I tell them the truth: I had in mind a ring design that I wanted to have made and I was shopping for a diamond to put in the ring and the jeweler showed me the one in my ring and I liked that it was rather special in that it rated high on all four cees. So that's how I picked it. They may ask for the jeweler's name, which I give them, but that's the end of the conversation about the ring itself.

The few folks who do know the stone's whole history with me are close family friends or relatives, and how my ex and I settled the matter of our divorce has nothing to do with them, so they don't have anything to say about it. Moreover, why would anyone want to keep a ring/stone that was given to me as a symbol of something that no longer exists? She and I both have a harder time understanding why one would want to keep such a thing than we do understanding why one would give it back. There's many things once can call my ex, but gold digger isn't one of them.

Given this discussion, you might naturally wonder about the wedding rings. I gave mine to her; she kept the one I gave her. (It had diamonds all the way round it, so it was hardly an inexpensive trinket.) I knew I was unlikely to remarry given the time constraints of my career, that being one of the key things causing our break-up. We both thought she might remarry and we both agreed that at the very least, she could sell them both or trade them in for something else. Later, I gave her the accent stones from her engagement ring and she had them and the wedding rings made into a necklace she and I gave our daughter for her sixteenth birthday. If the subject of our rings were to come up -- and it hasn't since she told me what she planned regarding my daughter's 16th and I in turn offered the accent stones -- I would speculate it might be in connection to our daughter's necklace.

Your curiosity on this matter is surprising to me. Are you going through a break-up of some sort? Or perhaps your divorce was less amicable? Or are you just looking for ways to poke fun at an unfortunate event in someone else's life?

[F32]

I think we all know why she divorced you now...

[300hp]

On topic

Beefy exhaust sound matched by beefy steering wheel

[tony20009]

Originally Posted by F32

I think we all know why she divorced you now...

LOL...really? It was I who divorced her. I don't recall having discussed that....