I took it to my home dealer and service provider this morning and they told me they could get all 4 removed and drilled out for 1 hour of labor, which was $189 total. I gave in, especially since other dealerships were quoting 4-5 hours of labor and my tire mechanic was holding my new rims+tires. They basically told me that my wheels weren't taken off last time it was serviced (even though I expressed concern for my loud breaks), and that since I bought the car a year and a half ago, they don't know what I could've done to it in that time. Nothing they wanted to cover being a CPO under warranty.
It is what it is - hopefully someone reading this thread learns something just as I did.
Thanks for your input guys.
Bonus pics with my new OEM 437m's! Tires are General G-Max RS 245/35/19 & 265/35/19. Special thanks to @alohasurftoad for the tire advice. Lowering springs are next.
