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I don't think it's in your head. My mom has a Subaru Legacy (NA 4 cyl, AWD) and I've driven it a few times - it's smoother at lower speeds than my BMW. I know the exact scenario you're describing, I can't get my BMW to feel as smooth no matter what mode I'm in or how I play with the throttle.
Maybe the CVT? NA vs Turbo? AWD vs RWD? I'd be curious too
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