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Bokeh is an "effect" and can be very pleasing, but most of us use it on a minority of our shots. I took several hundred shots in San Francisco and New Orleans in the last two-weeks and in only one or two did I go for bokeh. Even then, f/4 gave me what I needed.
You're essentially describing what I'd call a "portrait lens". I use my 70-200mm f/4L IS for portraits, but if I did it for a living, I'd go for something in the 80mm to 105mm range, with at least a f/2.8 aperture, but I consider that a specialty lens. Ultra thin DOF can be distracting if you use it on every shot. You want your subject mostly in focus, but you might only get an eye and the nose (those are essential) and nothing else. That's okay, occasionally, but boring if used too much.
It's kind of like slow-shutter-speed waterfall and wave shots. I say, show me what you friggin' saw, at least occasionally. Smoothed out water is a nice specialty technique, but don't use it on EVERY water shot. Same goes for bokeh in a portrait.
Zooms first, specialty lenses next, that's my mantra. (High quality zooms, of course).
Dave
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