[Eggeezy]

So recently my poor car was blessed with some tree sap and a couple bird poop bombs. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. The worst part is, these have already etched themselves into the black paint and created some really noticeable spots on my car.

I was told that using a clay bar would be useless at this point and the guy recommended the 3M General Purpose Adhesive Cleaner to get these out. Anyone out there ever tried it with positive results? Any other feedback and suggestions to conquer this would be greatly appreciated!

[XenaBimmer]

I wouldn't bother with that. First, I would wait a week or so and make sure your car sits in the sun some; supposedly BMW now uses a self healing clear coat that should take away these etchings. I can't verify that's totally true, but I have had a couple bird crap areas that left etchings, and after waiting a few days and driving the car to work where it sat outside in the sun, the etchings were gone.
If this doesn't happen for you, it's best to use some polishing compound to remove the superficial layer of clear coat that's etched.