[JD6]

If you’re planning to split up with your other half, make sure her bags are packed and the taxi booked for 8pm on Thursday, so it looks like the whole street is glad to see the back of her...

[Broncho]

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[RickLS7]

[RickLS7]

Day 3 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she is my wife, she seems nice.


Don’t worry, the Corona Virus won’t last long… It was made in China.


Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste.


Back in the day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled “last call”


It must have been a woman who invented the Corona Virus!
1. Formula 1 – cancelled
2. Football – cancelled
3. Bars – Closed
4. Brothels – Closed
5. You have to stay at home – With the wife

Men – We are facing a hard time!


To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too.


*Breaking News!* – Apparently the first person in Birmingham has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled “just in case”.
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.


Chinese doctors have confirmed the name of the first person to contract Coronavirus. His name is Ah-Chu.


Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in 9 month, and then one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of the QUARANTEENS!


People with a cold – “I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible”

People with Corona Virus – “I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago.


Breaking News : World Health Organization has issued a statement that animals can not transmit Corona and that all animals, including dogs, should be released from quarantine.
‘WHO Let the Dogs Out!!


How come the liquor stores don’t have empty shelves? Don’t people understand that they will be quarantined with their spouses and kids?


With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.


Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story….


What's the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.


Nail Salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.


Ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.


So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.


What’s the best way to avoid touching your face? A glass of wine in each hand.

[ZedsRedBaby]

Originally Posted by RickLS7

Yay, Super Mario Kart supermarket shopping. I'm off to Tesco to give it a go.

[ZedsRedBaby]

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[RickLS7]

[ZedsRedBaby]

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[Broncho]

[RickLS7]

[JD6]

[agentorange]

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself.

[ZedsRedBaby]

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[Blacktemplar]

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[ZedsRedBaby]

Seeing as it's Star Wars day:

[RickLS7]

[JustChris]

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[ZedsRedBaby]

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[JustChris]

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[agentorange]

Originally Posted by JustChris

..

Chris, I can barely count all the rabbit holes to dive down that Farage thing opens up.

[Broncho]

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[Silverlining_m2]

This thread is a joy