[MickyD'bo]

[scooba0010]

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

As your Grandmother left everything to her children, I'd look upon anything you receive as a bonus and not to expect anything.

I have always been told expect nothing and you wont be disappointed but we have always done ok , Both sets of Parents have treated us and we then treat ours .

[TouringPleb]

Originally Posted by scooba0010

I have always been told expect nothing and you wont be disappointed but we have always done ok , Both sets of Parents have treated us and we then treat ours .

Pretty much my philosophy on life!

Expect nothing, work for everything and then help others (either up or down the generations) when you can.

[isleaiw1]

My Mum inherited a few thousand and shared it equally with me and my brother - but she is over 80 and doesnt spend what comes in anyway. I guess your parents perhaps dont realise you need it - very nice car, latest tech, home gym - you arent giving the impression of being down on your luck...

To complete the circle on the above - I didnt pass on what my mum gave me to my kids - well not directly. Son has had a masters degree funded, daughter is having a wedding paid for, both will get a bit more when I know my pension is covered - so they do ok even if not direct recipients...

[JD6]

As far as division between siblings who have different levels of wealth, my view is that the split should still be equal unless there is real hardship, or unless the better off sibling agrees that their share should be reduced. Unequal division is a recipe for resentment and causing a broken relationship between siblings which no parent wants.

My parents have helped my brother a fair bit (some tens of thousands) over the last 20 years or so. He has a decent job, but been through a tough divorce from a crazy wife and maintenance payments have made his life a lot tougher financially than mine. They did this in an open way - I was aware of it and while they didn't explicitly seek my approval, they know that I completely agree that it was the right thing to do and don't resent it. I don't want or expect this to be balanced out via any future inheritance. Perhaps if it was to cover a gambling debt, or he had lived an extravagant lifestyle, I might feel differently.

Originally Posted by teaston

They are financially comfortable, have two properties with no mortgage, are in their mid to late 60’s and my Dad still earns a good wage.

I wonder if the fact that your dad is still working well into his 60s suggests that they still have a 'need' for, or at least a desire for more money? In that case I expect that they would keep the inheritance, or perhaps pass on a small amount, but I would expect nothing.

In a situation where they were in their mid 70s onwards and comfortable in retirement, the case for letting a reasonable proportion of an inheritance skip a generation is stronger, particularly if their existing assets are above the IHT threshold.

[gangzoom]

Money brings out the best in people

[Bibbles]

I've always said to my parents the I don't expect anything from them if they get other inheritance or from their own estate. I would rather they spent it on themselves or on family holidays as you're only on this planet for a short time so best to enjoy it. It's meant we've had some good holidays all together.

[HighlandPete]

Originally Posted by JD6

As far as division between siblings who have different levels of wealth, my view is that the split should still be equal unless there is real hardship, or unless the better off sibling agrees that their share should be reduced. Unequal division is a recipe for resentment and causing a broken relationship between siblings which no parent wants..

Even after explaining my own situation, I still believe the whole area of inheritance is thwart with issues, mostly due to it involving money.

It is not just the differences between siblings, or other potential beneficiaries, but also the attitudes of the givers, parents/grandparents.

I've seen wills unfairly distributed, usually due to some strange judgements or opinions. Seen favourite siblings getting the estate, totally rubbing other sibling's faces in it. Nothing worse than money to split relationships.

That's why I'm appreciative of honesty and proper discussions on what may be best for the future.

My son is willed to inherit our estate, he also is willed to benefit from his in law's estate. He told us clearly, "don't skimp and save to keep the inheritance intact". "If you don't spend some of it, we'll go 'first class' after you are gone".

That doesn't mean I go out and get a new M5.

[NISFAN]

If I were in that situation, I would make sure my parents don't even consider passing that money on (to me at least). I wouldn't want the decision of whether they should give it to me, sitting on their conscience, so would tell them to use it on them. I would also advise them to make good use of the spare money to go and visit extended family (brothers and sisters in Australia, Canada and the US) and that YOLO. My dad is a money hoarder, so hopefully he would count these funds as 'extras' that he can spend.
I would get more satisfaction in seeing them use the money as above, than I would in receiving it.

[Goneinsixtyseconds]

Originally Posted by teaston

Crikey, you take things so literally, and in a twisted way! Do you have Aspergers or something similar?

Says the man who cares so little about the inheritance that he's posted a crass thread on an open Internet car forum, of all places, to ask what he might get. And the only comment about a Grandparent passing is with regards to money, not feelings, particularly those of your parents. Aspergers did you say?

Forgive me for taking your words literally, I wasn't aware you meant them to be meaningless.

[454697819]

Crikey that escalated quickly!

Expect nothing and be grateful if any comes your way -

[teaston]

Originally Posted by Alex440

Says the man who cares so little about the inheritance that he's posted a crass thread on an open Internet car forum, of all places, to ask what he might get. And the only comment about a Grandparent passing is with regards to money, not feelings, particularly those of your parents. Aspergers did you say?

Forgive me for taking your words literally, I wasn't aware you meant them to be meaningless.

Thank you for proving my point once again!

[Zippeh]

When my Grandad passed away 12 years ago, each of the grandkids were given a sum, and the rest was split between my Dad and his Sister. This includes a rather large property. It looks like this will be sold at some point in the near future, and when it does I won't expect anything extra from this sale, but I might get something. Either way, I know that if I do, then my sister will get the same. They work very hard at making sure we both get the same in help when we need it.

[simon.]

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

As your Grandmother left everything to her children, I'd look upon anything you receive as a bonus and not to expect anything.

This. It's her will & choice & wishes. Why expect anything?

[rich100]

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Pretty much my philosophy on life!

Expect nothing, work for everything and then help others (either up or down the generations) when you can.

+1

When it's someone else's inheritance I don't think reasonable expectation come into it, they may choose to gift you some but they may not.

I'd just park the issue for now, if some money filters through to you which hopefully it might do particularly if your parents are well off then treat it as a bonus.


On the wider subject of inheritance I would think with life expectancies rising and the cost of long term care being significant that in many cases sizeable inheritances are something that can be less relied upon in future years.

[robwils]

Is this your parents first inheritance ? or did they get something from their grandparents - Did they work and struggle to get where they are now?

Personally I would expect nothing its your parents inheritance.

[allachie9]

Originally Posted by HighlandPete

Even after explaining my own situation, I still believe the whole area of inheritance is thwart with issues, mostly due to it involving money.

It is not just the differences between siblings, or other potential beneficiaries, but also the attitudes of the givers, parents/grandparents.

I've seen wills unfairly distributed, usually due to some strange judgements or opinions. Seen favourite siblings getting the estate, totally rubbing other sibling's faces in it. Nothing worse than money to split relationships.

That's why I'm appreciative of honesty and proper discussions on what may be best for the future.

My son is willed to inherit our estate, he also is willed to benefit from his in law's estate. He told us clearly, "don't skimp and save to keep the inheritance intact". "If you don't spend some of it, we'll go 'first class' after you are gone".

That doesn't mean I go out and get a new M5.

Some excellent responses and advice from almost all contributors to this thread, possibly with the exception, of course, of our resident member of 'The Perpetually Outraged Brigade'.

Pete, as always gives excellent advice and comment. Families talking together about what might be a difficult subject to broach is always the best way.
As I'm sure Pete already knows, here in Scotland things are slightly different and it is almost impossible to disinherit a child, even if one were so inclined. In many ways it is a fairer system, where money is concerned, as this has to be divided equally with a surviving spouse entitled to half, and any offspring sharing the other half. Property however can be left to anyone.

Many years ago I was executor for an elderly aunt. Originally she had a hand written will, which we talked about and thought might create problems. The result of my discussions with her led to a much fairer will being drawn up by her solicitor, which made her feel better, knowing that my job would be simpler, and so it proved to be.

[Hooded]

My mother will also be coming into 25% of her 97 year old farthers estate at some point (hopefully not too soon, would be nice for him to get his letter from the queen) ..and I haven't even thought much about whether or not she will give some of it to me. I don't consider it's my right to get a share of my mothers wealth until she passes away herself eventually.

Best thing to do is not expect anything but if you get offered some of the money then that's great ... this is how I see my own situation.

[teaston]

Originally Posted by robwils

Is this your parents first inheritance ? or did they get something from their grandparents - Did they work and struggle to get where they are now?

Personally I would expect nothing its your parents inheritance.

No, they got about £40k after my Dads Grandma passed away (this Grandma's mum).

[rich100]

Originally Posted by Hooded

My mother will also be coming into 25% of her 97 year old farthers estate at some point (hopefully not too soon, would be nice for him to get his letter from the queen) ..and I haven't even thought much about whether or not she will give some of it to me. I don't consider it's my right to get a share of my mothers wealth until she passes away herself eventually.

Best thing to do is not expect anything but if you get offered some of the money then that's great ... this is how I see my own situation.

My grandad managed to hit the 100 year milestone but unfortunately became quite ill with shingles around the time which weakened him to the point where he sadly passed away 3 weeks later.

He had an iron like determination in terms of stuff he set his mind to so I think it was almost like he achieved a significant milestone, received his letter from the queen and then sort of let go having done so.

Damn good innings all told though.

[moonshine]

my gran died in December, 3 weeks short of her 100th birthday... on the 7th Jan 2018.
As a catholic irish lass from the valleys of NI, we all joked that the popped her clogs intentionally as she would have done anything to avoid receiving a telegram from the queen

[Hooded]

Originally Posted by rich100

My grandad managed to hit the 100 year milestone but unfortunately became quite ill with shingles around the time which weakened him to the point where he sadly passed away 3 weeks later.

He had an iron like determination in terms of stuff he set his mind to so I think it was almost like he achieved a significant milestone, received his letter from the queen and then sort of let go having done so.

Damn good innings all told though.

Indeed .. and especially for a man (80% of Centenarians are women).
My grandfathers in pretty good health still at 97, he lives alone in his Victorian cottage, waters his garden in the summer and manages to go into the village to do a bit of shopping occasionally, so he has a fair chance of making it. Although at 90+ you age a lot every 12 months.