[isleaiw1]

Originally Posted by Nibbles

Currently going through this with the in-laws. My advice is to get them to see a doctor and get some help asap even if it's your dad that goes to the docs first to speak to them about it without your mum. My father-in-law left it far too late to tell us he couldn't cope and his mental wellbeing has taken a massive hit. He's now on anti-depressants but it's taken a massive toll on him. They're now getting some help in a few times a week to take the strain off him. I think they're going to need a lot more but it's hard as it's not my parents so I have to let my wife and her brother lead it.

As for my year - keep working hard and aim for as early a retirement as possible. Spend as much time as I can with the family and doing things I enjoy as you only get one life.

Also going through it with my Mum, and she doesnt have anyone living with her. So far she is forgetting stuff that doesnt really matter - like christmas cards for certain people - but its not going to get any better. She wont entertain a doctor - as no doubt she wont like the answer so ignorance is better to her. Means my brother who lives locally has a lot on his plate (he still works full time) and I get to do my share when I visit for the weekend - and of course when I'd rather be spending time with my grandkids who now live miles from her. I've started the ball rolling on assisted living but it was as popular as I imagined it would be!

I've started my retirement plan - going to suggest going to 4 days sometime in 2025 and 3 days 2 years after that... with complete finish in 2029...

[KRS_SN]

Originally Posted by JD6

I had a knee operation at the end of December 2022 which made 2023 a tough year for fitness - it took me virtually 3 months to recover and I’m still struggling to get back to my normal fitness level. Although I guess age is part of that. Looking forward to a better spell of weather to get back out on the fells after the Christmas excess.

One of my concerns this year is my mum’s rapid decline with dementia, which she refuses to acknowledge. The speed of decline is terrifying and she still drives... She won’t see a doctor which doesn’t help. It’s going to be a tough year for my dad in particular.

For 2024 I’d like to get fitter, lose a few kg and spend less time worrying about the future and more living in the moment…

I often explain to reluctant customers (usually brought in by relatives on the pretext of Dr wants to see you for a BP/health check etc) that there are reversible causes for memory decline and that seeing a doctor is for tests to ensure she can improve functioning and health. GWS re the knee.

[Watsey]

For those with relatives with dementia (or suspected), early intervention can be vital. It's been proven that treatment (drugs) as early as possible can noticeably slow the progression of the disease (if it's identified quickly enough). The trouble is that the early indications of dementia can be very subtle, and can develop slowly over many years.

My grandmother was diagnosed in the relatively early-onset stage and was immediately prescribed Aricept (donepezil). The cognitive ability tests showed that the drug was having a positive effect. She did eventually deteriorate rapidly, and spent range last couple of of years of her life in residential care, but the drug helped her to retain a longer period of independence. Luckily my mum was able to get full Local Authority funding.

Despite my strong recommendations my father-in-law was not prescribed drugs at all when he was diagnosed a couple of years ago, and lost his mental reasoning very quickly. He is currently in respite care, and now requires full-time residential care. He has no idea who anyone is, except the occasional recognition of his wife, and although he can walk he is totally incapable of looking after himself in any way i.e. if food and cutlery are placed in front of him he doesn't know what to do. My MiL has to find (and prove that she has) the first two years care costs in cash, which is a very significant sum of money. After that it's a lottery in terms of Local Authority funding, because the criteria have changed significantly.

If the person is still lucid enough to resist discussing the possibility of dementia with a GP, it's worth having a candid conversation with them about how things could progress, at what pace, and the consequences. To use a medical anology, who would prefer a diagnosis of advanced/terminal cancer rather than 'early stage' ?

[KRS_SN]

Aricept is licensed for mild to moderate alzhiemers(along with galantamine and rivastigmine which are rarely used) and Memantine for moderate to advanced alzhiemers. These can improve function and can slow the decline.

There are different types of dementia and sadly if it's vascular dementia which is rather common second only to alzhiemers or any other type these cognitive enhancers aren't licensed.

I look forward to these consultations as have done so on thousands of occasions. People who need help can be brought around with reassurance and genuine interest.
Most GP's would love to help/make a difference in these scenarios.

Social care is where there can be a problem especially on Scotland where funded places and anyone with savings don't go hand in hand and I've spent hours liaising with care services when families are stuck.

Numerous old ladies in their tiny apartments worth 140k etc which they own. They detest the loss of independence and their life savings by having to move into an institution.Eventually the time comes when theyre an exceeding risk to self and I hate that part of my work.

[JD6]

Originally Posted by KRS_SN

I often explain to reluctant customers (usually brought in by relatives on the pretext of Dr wants to see you for a BP/health check etc) that there are reversible causes for memory decline and that seeing a doctor is for tests to ensure she can improve functioning and health. GWS re the knee.

The difficulty we have is that my dad had arranged a GP appointment which my mum insisted on cancelling as it approached. So my dad is left in an impossible situation - she is sufficiently aware to make a conscious choice to avoid seeing the GP, but he's the one who will have to deal with the consequences of her rapid decline.

I don't think he would feel able to go against her wishes and somehow convince into going under the pretence of it being a general health check.

My knee isn't bad now thanks - but I just haven't managed to get my general fitness levels to where they were a couple of years ago.

[isleaiw1]

Originally Posted by JD6

The difficulty we have is that my dad had arranged a GP appointment which my mum insisted on cancelling as it approached. So my dad is left in an impossible situation - she is sufficiently aware to make a conscious choice to avoid seeing the GP, but he's the one who will have to deal with the consequences of her rapid decline.

I don't think he would feel able to go against her wishes and somehow convince into going under the pretence of it being a general health check.

My knee isn't bad now thanks - but I just haven't managed to get my general fitness levels to where they were a couple of years ago.

we have the same issue, my Mum is aware of her memory loss and makes fun of it, and then is very keen to keep away from docs. Has had to see one today as she isnt well so my brother made a point of stressing the memory loss and forgetfulness, but GP wasnt too concerned given her age and fact she remembers to take her tablets, eat etc. More bothered about her blood pressure today....and her general tiredness and stuff..

[KRS_SN]

isleaiw1 JD6
There are a few angles to this
1. Not to sound patronising but people are allowed to decide(good and bad decisions) about their health interventions and mostly they have capacity to do so.
2. Sometimes what we offer as help can be seen as "pesky" by old folk. They fear loss of independence or admission that they've lost their marbles and who can blame them.
3. There is a case for chipping away. I often call /see them in the surgery offer blood tests and humour them with some cognitive questions and send them away with a planted seed.
4. Ultimately if they are in possession of facts or are in denial forcing them is not possible.
5. It's good if it's a GP who they've known and trust. They are more likely to accept suggestions from them
6. Could be best to talk to a senior GP in the practice explain your concerns. We have our ways of working things out.
7. Carer stress is a thing so look after yourselves and your family who care for your relative

[JR1664]

We're hoping to have a normal year for once as the last few have been pretty rotten.

The missus retired in 2022, we were full of hopes and dreams but her father almost immediately broke his hip, she ended up being a full time carer. Last Jan he was admitted to hospital for a simple infection, caught covid and died after about six weeks.

I took on inheritance tax planning, probate, clearing, doing up and selling the property which although it kept me busy (also retired) severely tested my mettle but was concluded towards the end of the year. It felt like we lost 18 months.

Notwithstanding the mother in law lives in an extention / annex she was also ill most of the year with shingles, my elderly mother 91 needs help most weeks so its like a retirement dream gone wrong. The rest of the family are quite happy to leave it to us as of course we're retired. My grown up daughters are both in high stress jobs and use us as soundboard, my lad is a doctor currently on strike.

I want to move to the absolute middle of nowhere and escape it all, seriously but the missus won't leave the daughters !!

So we're getting away starting in the next few weeks, I've booked a Caribbean cruise and it can't come quick enough. We're going to the Maldives in May for a few weeks which really is paradise, then its the Euros in June, TDF in July and back to the Caribbean in Sept with friends. In the middle of that I want to cycle to the South of France and back or Switzerland and back again. Oh yeah and play as much golf as I can.

Health wise I need a spinal fusion (saw the surgeon yesterday) but want to put the damn thing off for as long as I can to get the above trips in. Cycling wise, I'm mainly Zwift now, weight 88kg, get down to 80kg(without cutting out beer want to clear 6000 miles this year and do the Alp in 60 mins (PB is 71).

It's hammering outside now (this weather wtf is going on) so into the pain cave on the turbo for a few hours and listen to music.

[KRS_SN]

My health goal for 2024 is to not drink.
After a stressful day at work I found myself reaching for a glass of wine.
Sometimes when mrs was away working evenings and nights etc kids would say let's out shopping or let's go to the cinema and I'd have to make excuses as I couldn't drive.I didn't think it was fair on them as it was selfish of me. Dry since30th Dec and I feel better for it.

[JR1664]

Originally Posted by KRS_SN

My health goal for 2024 is to not drink.
After a stressful day at work I found myself reaching for a glass of wine.
Sometimes when mrs was away working evenings and nights etc kids would say let's out shopping or let's go to the cinema and I'd have to make excuses as I couldn't drive.I didn't think it was fair on them as it was selfish of me. Dry since30th Dec and I feel better for it.

The very best of luck and for excellent reasons, they grow up bloody quickly and of course I don't need to tell of the benefits, you probably prescribe the advice daily. I abstained for nearly a year but just go bored plus I actually like the taste of beer & wine.

Instead of completely cutting it out, over the last few years I've cut down on the alcohol content of what I'm drinking. So instead of a 5% beer, it's 4% or under, instead of a 13.5% claret it's 11 or 12%. I can't remember the last time I had a proper old school hangover, oh and I take water with it now, always have a glass of water on the go.

I've never been into spirits really so that was never an issue due to a bad experience as a teenager. I have some hard drinking relatives and friends, most late 50's / early 60's and some of them are cutting back big time, turning to alcohol free beer, not touching anything during the week at all. Not so the women I'm finding but that could just be my family.

[isleaiw1]

Originally Posted by JR1664

The very best of luck and for excellent reasons, they grow up bloody quickly and of course I don't need to tell of the benefits, you probably prescribe the advice daily. I abstained for nearly a year but just go bored plus I actually like the taste of beer & wine.

Instead of completely cutting it out, over the last few years I've cut down on the alcohol content of what I'm drinking. So instead of a 5% beer, it's 4% or under, instead of a 13.5% claret it's 11 or 12%. I can't remember the last time I had a proper old school hangover, oh and I take water with it now, always have a glass of water on the go.

I've never been into spirits really so that was never an issue due to a bad experience as a teenager. I have some hard drinking relatives and friends, most late 50's / early 60's and some of them are cutting back big time, turning to alcohol free beer, not touching anything during the week at all. Not so the women I'm finding but that could just be my family.

No my experience is that women are drinking more and more often than before. A consultant treating my wife said that he believed that the impact of overdrinking amongst the middle aged middle class women population was a ticking time bomb for the NHS....

[Danj94]

Originally Posted by Wolverine

Cheers bud. I am going very aggressive with my strategy and running a large daily deficit on calories, which I did once before when I did the insanity programme in 2017. It’s probably not recommended but it works for me to remove temptation and eat a bit better/force better choices.

And since you’ve thrown down the gauntlet, I’ve weighed in at 103.5kg this morning. First to sub-100kg it is!

How are you getting on with this pal?

I weighed in at 99.7kg on January 28th. I then went on Holiday to Dubai on the 29th and returned yesterday. Not been brave enough to step on the scales yet but how bad can the damage be in just two weeks?!

[Wolverine]

Originally Posted by Danj94

How are you getting on with this pal?

I weighed in at 99.7kg on January 28th. I then went on Holiday to Dubai on the 29th and returned yesterday. Not been brave enough to step on the scales yet but how bad can the damage be in just two weeks?!

Good work man.

I’ve hovered around 103kg since about Xmas. I had a holiday, Xmas, new years, a birthday weekend away and a few nights away with work recently which have really hindered further progress as I’ve had less control over my intake with having to eat out plenty.

Holiday again this week and as long as I don’t put weight on, I’ll take the win and go again to get to my ideal 85 kg.