[robwils]

Originally Posted by F20MAW73

Update. Well I have to admitt I haven't taken the much valued advice on here in regard to seeing the doctors.

Howerver, since hitting the gym and getting better sleep I do feel much better. I still feel anxious about certain situations but it feels much more controllable at the moment and I feel like I am getting on top of it.

I would also like to say that talking on here helped and I am very thankful for that.

I would also like to share this post from skysports presenter Simon Thomas. Not only has he recently tragically lost his wife but he has also been fighting, depression, anxiety and panic attacks.

https://agriefshared.com/2018/02/09/...mpression=true

That’s terrible what he has been through , and still is,
Puts a lot into perspective.

[Dizzle]

For what its worth, to show again that's its more common than you realise, I suffered big time for a while and to some extent still stuffer from time to time. First time was around 2 years ago, long story cut short the pills DID HELP, took 'the edge off' I felt gave me the ability focus more on CBT and mindfulness to self heal. But I couldn't have done it without the support of my wife and family....... and reading examples online from others such as this. Having being exposed to a close family member suffering from similar problem which led to a full mental breakdown as a young teenager I see the damage it can cause if ignored...for anyone feeling this way should not feel embarrassed to speak out and recognise when you need a little help. I took the pills for about 9 months, came off, went back on 4 months later, came off after 6 months and not had them since. (When starting to use them and coming off you can suffer other side affects which isnt great, feeling even more nauseous etc)

Combination of triggers for me, work/home....catastrophising and making myself worse. Lost interest in various personal activities such as the gym which all helped me back on the road to recovery once I was forced into starting them all up again lol. Mindfulness and CBT help me to stop catastrophising, to try and rest my thoughts running through my head, focus on the here an now, the immediate tasks.

I still concern myself with the stigma, feel negative about that portion of my life, a 'sign of weakness' when I know its not the case. And an element of guilt as it seems daft at time thinking that other people are going through a lot worse in life. I dislike posting this if I'm honest, but I do it share and to say your not alone as there some comfort in knowing your not crazy for feeling the way you do.

As I read more about the rationale behind the behaviours I learned that more often that not it was common in highly driven, self achievers; which also led me to a condition referred to imposter syndrome and I feel that elements of this does relate to my anxiety triggers. Now a days I do find I worry over the small things too much and sometimes have to 'have a word with myself' as in to understand that I shouldn't focus too much on the "what if's"

[Scoobyd]

Good to see a thread like this on here and so many opening up and sharing their experiences.

I've suffered with anxiety and the odd panic attack now and then over the years. Horrible things but I've learned to know the triggers along the way and try to manage my way through each situation.

I'm currently at a pretty low point now though. I had a health scare a couple of years ago that thankfully turned out as all ok but it seemed to trigger something in me. Never felt quite the same, or as confident in my body/health, since. I lost my nan very suddenly who I was very close to at the end of October which was a very hard thing to witness and has hit me hard. Work is throwing up major stresses at the moment and my personal life isn't quite where I'd like it to be. All of this has led to my mind feeling so overloaded with thoughts, worries, stresses etc. Motivation is lacking, energy is lacking, sitting up late at night over thinking, struggling to get up in the mornings to face my day. Stuck in a real rut. It all feels like too much to cope with which gives a horrible feeling of a lack of control.

I fear it's giving me physical symptoms too. I've had a real ache/tightness in the back of my head and neck for about 4 months now, have found myself moving my jaw around which is weird and annoying and skin feels tight on my neck. All of which I put down to symptoms of stress.

Took myself off to my GP this morning to lay it on the table. Like many I've never wanted to go the route of pills. She gave a fair analogy of if you break your leg you don't just wait for it to heal, you use a crutch to aid the process. The pills can be thought of as a crutch to help your mind heal. She prescribed me a months worth of Citalopram which I believe are SSRI's. Said I could feel worse for the first 2 weeks though. I've got so much on coming up that I really don't want to take that chance so think I'm going to park the pills option for now. The, potential, side effects really concern me too. She also gave me a number to call for an NHS referral for CBT as it may help to talk things through with someone. That's something I'm far more open too.

Life huh... it sure ain't easy!

[fluke]

I went to a Licensed Therapist for help with anxiety. No meds were needed and we were able to work it out. Now I feel capable of handling it myself. Don't suffer alone, don't be ashamed, get help, and enjoy life.

[Mr Whippy]

I think anxiety and panic attacks are the outlet for suppressed emotions.

You can feel the relief after acknowledging things to yourself and others sometimes.

Men are their own worst enemies because they believe they shouldn't cry or things shouldn't effect them, but cripes can crying relieve the stress of holding emotions in!

Life certainly has its ups and downs and it's completely natural to feel things.

The important thing is to accept our feelings but also accept they're just that... feelings.



I'd recommend anyone feeling crap to go find a good private counsellor and just be 100% honest and let them lead the way.

[F20MAW73]

A little update....

I've finally went to see my GP after a bit of a rough time with anxiety. It seems to have really flared up recently especially over in Dubai on holiday which was supposed to be a very relaxing holiday.

So went to the GP last Thursday. Typically they were late with my appointment so I was sitting there feeling pretty nervous in the waiting room for 20 minutes or so. However, when I saw the GP and explained my anxiety issues the nervous feeling soon subsided. I think it was a relief to get things a little off my chest. Pills were spoken about but I don't particularity want to go down that route if I can help it.

Since speaking with the GP I have booked to see a local private therapist who specialises in hypnotherapy, CBT, psychotherapy & NLP. Once I have had the initial consultation hopefully I can sort something out with my private medical insurers to cover the cost for some sessions.

Martin

[....,,,,..,,..]

Originally Posted by Incontinentia Buttocks

Glad to hear you've talked to your GP. I can only speak from my experience, but having had two lengthy stays in a phychiatic hospital in the last five years, I guess I've got more experience than most.
Firstly, and this has to be said to anyone on this thread that has posted about their own problems. Depressive illness and indeed anxiety and not signs of weakness. Infact the science points quite firmly to the opposite. You've been too strong, for too long and ultimately something has to give.
One to one CBT is excellent. I've built up excellent trusting relationships with the various therapists and indeed have found myself talking about things I would not speak to anyone else about. I've always chosen female therapists, just a personal thing, but I find it easier to talk to women.
Don't get too hung up about using meds. Hopefully these are short term (six months - a year) aid to your battle with the demons. There is alot of bollocks written by the poorly informed about medication for depression. Go with what your doctor suggests. And yes, the first few weeks you'll feel a bit shitty, but that's normal.

And now to leave you with a larf about the side effects of the long list of meds I have to take:
Shaking hands. Sometimes have to drink coffee through a straw.
Involuntary muscle spasms. Can be interesting on my pushbike.
Short term memory loss. The best excuse ever for not doing what my wife tells me.
Reduced capacity of kidneys to retain fluid. Interesting when combined with the next one.
Increased thirst. I've perfected pissing out of a car window.

Some great bits there.

All areas of mental well being take some level of strength to stand up to.

Not sure if it's been covered on the thread but keeping a diary can also help.

Not only are you recording events as they occur but you facing things by writing them down and hopefully learn to identify triggers or even just reflect on how you are coping etc.

As mentioned go with what your therapist / doctor advise.

I personally think you have taken the hardest part of the process / journey.

[F20MAW73]

Originally Posted by Incontinentia Buttocks

Glad to hear you've talked to your GP. I can only speak from my experience, but having had two lengthy stays in a phychiatic hospital in the last five years, I guess I've got more experience than most.
Firstly, and this has to be said to anyone on this thread that has posted about their own problems. Depressive illness and indeed anxiety and not signs of weakness. Infact the science points quite firmly to the opposite. You've been too strong, for too long and ultimately something has to give.
One to one CBT is excellent. I've built up excellent trusting relationships with the various therapists and indeed have found myself talking about things I would not speak to anyone else about. I've always chosen female therapists, just a personal thing, but I find it easier to talk to women.
Don't get too hung up about using meds. Hopefully these are short term (six months - a year) aid to your battle with the demons. There is alot of bollocks written by the poorly informed about medication for depression. Go with what your doctor suggests. And yes, the first few weeks you'll feel a bit shitty, but that's normal.

And now to leave you with a larf about the side effects of the long list of meds I have to take:
Shaking hands. Sometimes have to drink coffee through a straw.
Involuntary muscle spasms. Can be interesting on my pushbike.
Short term memory loss. The best excuse ever for not doing what my wife tells me.
Reduced capacity of kidneys to retain fluid. Interesting when combined with the next one.
Increased thirst. I've perfected pissing out of a car window.

Thanks mate. I really respect your thoughts speaking from experience and also the lightheartness your bring to this topic also.

I really can't thank all members on here enough for some of there input in this thread. It has been really reassuring in somewayas looking through some of the posts again on here to see just how common mental health issues are and also to know I am not alone amongst everyday people on bloody car forum of all places.

[F20MAW73]

Originally Posted by Brigand

Some great bits there.

All areas of mental well being take some level of strength to stand up to.

Not sure if it's been covered on the thread but keeping a diary can also help.

Not only are you recording events as they occur but you facing things by writing them down and hopefully learn to identify triggers or even just reflect on how you are coping etc.

As mentioned go with what your therapist / doctor advise.

I personally think you have taken the hardest part of the process / journey.

Thanks Brigand.

[Derrymilk]

I’ve been on escitalopram for just over 2x years now

To be honest, it’s been my 2nd stint on meds. I don’t really mind taking them TBH, although would be in no rush to go through my initial side affects again.
I really needed them at that time to function
I was told to stay on for prob 6 months after feeling better - not quite sure when I had my last random attack.
I’d been suffering panic attacks which began roughly a year after quitting my previous meds. They were initially prescribed after an almost life wrecking breakdown.
Again, in that case, I didn’t mind taking the meds, but I hated the sweats I was getting.
As previously recommended: get help, meds if needed, and open up to those closest to you.

Sadly, I am writing this only 1 week after burying a family member who took his own life. I wish I could have helped him - if I’d known. I young life wasted needlessly because he felt trapped in his own mind with no way out.

[F20MAW73]

Originally Posted by Derrymilk

I’ve been on escitalopram for just over 2x years now

To be honest, it’s been my 2nd stint on meds. I don’t really mind taking them TBH, although would be in no rush to go through my initial side affects again.
I really needed them at that time to function
I was told to stay on for prob 6 months after feeling better - not quite sure when I had my last random attack.
I’d been suffering panic attacks which began roughly a year after quitting my previous meds. They were initially prescribed after an almost life wrecking breakdown.
Again, in that case, I didn’t mind taking the meds, but I hated the sweats I was getting.
As previously recommended: get help, meds if needed, and open up to those closest to you.

Sadly, I am writing this only 1 week after burying a family member who took his own life. I wish I could have helped him - if I’d known. I young life wasted needlessly because he felt trapped in his own mind with no way out.

I am sorry for you and your families loss and I wish you well in your ongoing recovery from mental health issues.

[Derrymilk]

I’m fine mostly, with the support of my wife it was best thing ever to open up.
I know what to look out for and can act to deal with.
I’m just letting you know that you need to seek the support and help, whether professional, medical or family

[Derrymilk]

Originally Posted by Dizzle

As I read more about the rationale behind the behaviours I learned that more often that not it was common in highly driven, self achievers; which also led me to a condition referred to imposter syndrome and I feel that elements of this does relate to my anxiety triggers. Now a days I do find I worry over the small things too much and sometimes have to 'have a word with myself' as in to understand that I shouldn't focus too much on the "what if's"

I can relate to pretty much all of your comments

[Southern Jay]

I've been somewhat apprehensive responding to this post, despite wanting to since It was originally posted,

Well here goes....

I was taken into care at an early age having very abusive, alcoholic parents, so since very young I've had issues, whilst I have never been professionally diagnosed what's described in this thread I can 100% relate to, because of my early experiences I've always relied on myself, and am very cynical. I left the children's home when I was 16 and bounced around various jobs earning next to nothing. I'm skipping a lot of specifics as there are things I am embarrassed about and haven't even shared with my wife of 20 years. So that's a bit of background and perhaps a catalyst for my anxieties.

The last bad experience I had was last Christmas, I'd gone to bed early and was watching tv, when I had this sudden feeling of dread, before I'd realised I was up and pacing the upstairs, I knew in the back of my mind there was nothing wrong but I couldn't help it, a very scary moment when in reality there was nothing wrong at all, this went on for a good half hour or so, I also tend to replay negative events in my mind over and over, I'm also a massive over thinker,

[chris-c]

I too have suffered anxiety attacks in the past. I'm happy to admit that I'm an over thinker when it comes to health. I'm not sure I'm a full blown hypochondriac but I certainly do think of the worst first.

I suffer with sinus issues and sometimes they give me really odd sensations in my face. First thing - stroke? Once you've got that on your mind it keeps going over. Is this really my sinuses playing up or am I having a mild stroke?

Bad asthma, had it for years. Really doesn't help when you add sinus issues as it all results in a shitty chest. Is this asthma or is this lung cancer? Am I going to drop down dead and leave the family all alone?

With this bit of background I'll go over my first anxiety attack. I was in Cuba 11 years ago. Age 22 and having a whale of a time. Lovely food, lovely drink. Too much drink. I'm sure I got heat stroke but combined with the fact I was going home soon back to live with my parents whilst my missus had just moved and got her job I'm fairly sure a panic attack kicked in. Pins and needles in the face. Shortness of breath. Feeling sick. Feeling really shit. Oh no, am I dying? A short while later I was in the doctors out there getting a nice injection of diazapam which chilled me riiiiiight out. A few days later I get home and speak to the doctor and she agreed it was probably heatstroke and there might be nothing to worry about.

Fast forward a couple of years later and I'm sitting there in the car and this kicks in again. Pins and needles all over my face. Weird sensation. Everything going wrong. Pain in my chest? Is this a heart attack? Brain in overdrive thinking about everything? Does my arm hurt? No. Think some more... Oh. I think it might do. Arghhhgh.

This happened a few more times which really wasnt fun so I went to the GP who told me it was probably just a panic attack but for good measure she'd take my blood pressure. That didn't go down well. I really really really dont like having blood pressure taken as it freaks me out which means the result is higher which makes me worry more. Her advice was buy a monitor to use at home. I follow her sound advice and go home and test it out. I'm feeling stressed about it but I strap myself in and suddenly its giving me numbers that indicate I should be calling an ambulance. I had over tightened it but by shit did that scare me.

I've had offers of sedatives and stuff in the past but I'm trying to keep it under control. I'm a very twitchy person normally so I'm just seeing this as a personality trait rather than anything else.

Its nice reading about others though.

[F20MAW73]

Originally Posted by chris-c

I too have suffered anxiety attacks in the past. I'm happy to admit that I'm an over thinker when it comes to health. I'm not sure I'm a full blown hypochondriac but I certainly do think of the worst first.

I suffer with sinus issues and sometimes they give me really odd sensations in my face. First thing - stroke? Once you've got that on your mind it keeps going over. Is this really my sinuses playing up or am I having a mild stroke?

Bad asthma, had it for years. Really doesn't help when you add sinus issues as it all results in a shitty chest. Is this asthma or is this lung cancer? Am I going to drop down dead and leave the family all alone?

With this bit of background I'll go over my first anxiety attack. I was in Cuba 11 years ago. Age 22 and having a whale of a time. Lovely food, lovely drink. Too much drink. I'm sure I got heat stroke but combined with the fact I was going home soon back to live with my parents whilst my missus had just moved and got her job I'm fairly sure a panic attack kicked in. Pins and needles in the face. Shortness of breath. Feeling sick. Feeling really shit. Oh no, am I dying? A short while later I was in the doctors out there getting a nice injection of diazapam which chilled me riiiiiight out. A few days later I get home and speak to the doctor and she agreed it was probably heatstroke and there might be nothing to worry about.

Fast forward a couple of years later and I'm sitting there in the car and this kicks in again. Pins and needles all over my face. Weird sensation. Everything going wrong. Pain in my chest? Is this a heart attack? Brain in overdrive thinking about everything? Does my arm hurt? No. Think some more... Oh. I think it might do. Arghhhgh.

This happened a few more times which really wasnt fun so I went to the GP who told me it was probably just a panic attack but for good measure she'd take my blood pressure. That didn't go down well. I really really really dont like having blood pressure taken as it freaks me out which means the result is higher which makes me worry more. Her advice was buy a monitor to use at home. I follow her sound advice and go home and test it out. I'm feeling stressed about it but I strap myself in and suddenly its giving me numbers that indicate I should be calling an ambulance. I had over tightened it but by shit did that scare me.

I've had offers of sedatives and stuff in the past but I'm trying to keep it under control. I'm a very twitchy person normally so I'm just seeing this as a personality trait rather than anything else.

Its nice reading about others though.

Thanks for sharing mate.

I could have wrote half of that myself as when my anxiety kicks in during certain situations I get that pins and needles feeling across my face coupled tight head and pressure feeling across my forehead and nose. A light head then kicks with a fear of passing out and making a fool of myself. Fortunately this has never happened.

Last week the head pressure thing was quite bad at times and I wonder if part of that could be down to sinus also. Although never been to the GP in regard to this and properly diagnosed with sinus issues.

[bodtwo]

In the spirit of openness and seeking the right help.

My ex wife and I originally got together very young, both 17, usual thing she worked I went through uni after my apprenticeship then we got on with life and children.

We were both happy outgoing normal people, she then started getting palpitations, heart flutters, and within the space of a year, she had packed in work and became House bound.

Even taking the little fella to the park was a massive achievement and we managed that about once a month. Sought medical advice from numerous doctors (mid nineties by the way) and the bottom line was always, panic attacks, get on with it woman. I used to fume with this response as I had no frame of reference to help. I was her support network as her relationship with her parents wasn’t the sharing kind.

We eventually found a doctor who found she had a mild eptopic heartbeat, irregular heart rhythms. Once she knew what this was and how it could be managed, ie she’d gotten to the root cause, she found life again.

In fact she found so much life a few years later she fooked off and is with someone else! Every cloud and all that. No that was more down to me then working away to much, another story.

Bottom line for her was that it helped to share things with me, but the only real resolution for her was to find someone who could relate and then help. Sharing with loved ones is great and is always the first course of action, it’s just for many that’s the first on a journey.

I wish you all positive continuing journey for you and those you love who share the journey with you.

[chris-c]

Originally Posted by F20MAW73

Thanks for sharing mate.

I could have wrote half of that myself as when my anxiety kicks in during certain situations I get that pins and needles feeling across my face coupled tight head and pressure feeling across my forehead and nose. A light head then kicks with a fear of passing out and making a fool of myself. Fortunately this has never happened.

Last week the head pressure thing was quite bad at times and I wonder if part of that could be down to sinus also. Although never been to the GP in regard to this and properly diagnosed with sinus issues.

I've always loved driving but once it had happened to me a couple of times I started to worry each journey if it was going to happen and sure enough it happened more often.

I have had my nose drilled out before and I've still got sinus issues. I'm taking decongestants daily despite them suggesting only use them for a week. Nasal sprays help but its when one thing gets added to another suddenly it just builds and builds. The thing that made it worse for me was that I was working it up to a heart attack in my head then I was going through a check list of symptoms and as you're having one of these moments you're certain you might be suffering from these symptoms.

Another thing I noticed was how detached I could get from the whole situation. I'd just be thinking about myself as someone else. I'd be assessing myself as if I was some stranger in the street. Other times I'd just think "shit, it'd be so much easier if I just went to sleep now and woke up tomorrow feeling better". I've never had suicidal thoughts but when I was in the detached state i'd think that sleep or a permanent sleep would fix the problem. I whole heartedly didn't want it but I was being pragmatic, if going to bed helps then surely so would the other option. I think I was just trying to cover every thought in my head which really didn't help.

The early ones were obvious, I was concerned about being away from the missus, thinking about my future, getting a job etc. Anyone around me would know I was having a turn and if I was driving I'd have to pull over.
At the peak of them I was having an odd moment every couple of weeks and I could start to feel them build.

I'm rather open with my feelings and thoughts with most people and this is the thing that gets me, I have no idea what was triggering the more recent ones. Life was good. Money was good. Work was good. Everything was good!

I've only ever had one where no one noticed and I could do nothing about it and it was when I had my second child. The labour was traumatic, the room was full of doctors and I'd just been handed a newborn and left to it. I was in shock at the amount of doctors in the room helping my missus and I couldn't move, couldn't help her. I just sat there silently feeling a wave of pins and needles cover my face and envelop me. I had to ask for cup of cold water which fortunately did the trick.

I think my side of the family are all "normal" as far as mental health is concerned. No one is on anti depressants or anything like that but when I look at the missus's family holy hell! One person tried to commit suicide (live rail), one person has been admitted for a few weeks at a time - narcissistic and other issues , her mum has been on antidepressants and has mood swings like crazy for 40 years. Depression and other stuff runs rampant in that side. I fear for my kids in that respect.

Good work on getting your troubles written down. For some it seems to help, I hope it is helping you. If not, I'm sure you're helping others.

[F20MAW73]

Originally Posted by Incontinentia Buttocks

What is crystal clear, on reading this thread, is that mental illness is something that can effect anyone. Indeed 25% of us will face up to a mental illness in our lives.

One comforting thought for those that have posted their issues. You're just as mad as old Lobb

It's amazing how many of us are suffering with mental illness to some degree. Its been a real eye opener and has made me determined to try and kick my anxiety issues. I really do appreciate people opening up on here and offering advice.

I have my first private consultation tomorrow with a therapist.

Looks like the next BMW meet venue could be at the Priory

[Kal101]

Originally Posted by F20MAW73

It's amazing how many of us are suffering with mental illness to some degree. Its been a real eye opener and has made me determined to try and kick my anxiety issues. I really do appreciate people opening up on here and offering advice.

I have my first private consultation tomorrow with a therapist.

Looks like the next BMW meet venue could be at the Priory

We’re all just a fine line away. Traditionally society has either mocked ,swept under the carpet or treated with disdain.

Fortunately times have changed and people realise that it’s an issue just like a physical injury as an example ( totally unrelated btw) WW1 soldiers suffering with PTSD were branded cowards and shot - now there’s support.

Wish you all the best and hope you get to deal with your demons. Appreciate and respect your courage and honesty in being strong enough to share your experience which will no doubt help others and in facing up to your demons.

[....,,,,..,,..]

Originally Posted by F20MAW73

It's amazing how many of us are suffering with mental illness to some degree. Its been a real eye opener and has made me determined to try and kick my anxiety issues. I really do appreciate people opening up on here and offering advice.

I have my first private consultation tomorrow with a therapist.

Looks like the next BMW meet venue could be at the Priory

I personally believe a huge number of people start 'picking up' mental health issues from starting school and going forward in life we have key events contribute even more.

I went through a process of writing out all of those key events, they do not take much thinking about as there are always just under the cover / under the bed.

After writing out these events, the really hard bit was trying to put them in any type of order, it was nigh on impossible as all had an impact in different ways.

Each day is a different day with new challenges and events, for me it's when new events trigger it or almost perfectly match previous events, that's when things can get interesting lol.

Hope your first visit went well today, it's the start of that yellow brick road.

[MashinBenzin]

Raising awareness of mental health issues is so important and public attitudes are gradually changing. There will come a time when anyone with a problem will talk about it as readily as a broken bone, and I look forward to that day. It frustrates me massively to see a team member get a world of sympathy for a few weeks off with a broken collarbone, compared with someone with stress/anxiety returning with their head metaphorically bowed after a couple of weeks signed off.

The 25% of people suffering problems statistic is about right in my experience. Which must mean that nearly all of us have experience of knowing someone with some kind of issue.

My simplistic view of it is that EVERYONE has some kind of mental health issue - it's what makes us human. The capacity to over think, over stress or over worry ourselves. It's simply where you sit on the scale that leads to being categorised or diagnosed or not treated. As discussed eloquently above by many, some people's fears and anxieties get triggered to have a greater affect. Some are lucky not to encounter their personal trigger.

On the percentages, I manage a few teams. One team of around a dozen includes two that have opened up to me about what would be classified as serious/ongoing/recurring issues, one with undiagnosed but recurring stress/anxiety and one with a single period of stress. Plus one who has never had time off for it or been diagnosed to my knowledge, but who I am fairly sure has something long term that affects mood/relationships/sleep. Call it between four and five out of twelve.

For anyone on this thread who thinks colleagues or employers value them less or judge them badly. Firstly, if they do then they are 100% in the wrong. Secondly, my experience tells me the opposite. It's the hardest working, most conscientious and productive people that are most at risk of hitting a patch of trouble. Any time spent by me/the company supporting them is repaid tenfold.

PS. I'm not immune to stress/anxiety/the odd sleepless night myself, don't want to come across that way.