[The_Lurker]

Fellow BMW Forum Members,

In a high octane update I can today confirm that I duelled with not one but TWO 64 plate Golf Rs on the M6 Toll and M40 whilst en route back from Cumbria. Bloody hell, the traffic was awful.

Anyway - I can confirm a few things that avid Golf R fans will want, nay, NEED to have the skinny on:

1) Both Golf Rs have quite nice rear lights. The leds look a bit like an R! Fancy.

2) Both of them were filthy dirty. I wondered if they have been drag racing on a farm or something. Golf owners are known to like to doing this. Also dogging. Anyway, one was red and one was blue. It put me in mind of the old Milky Way advert. You know the one - "the red car and the blue car had race..tra la la la"

3) One of them was driven by a man with a very chunky bracelet - and he paid IN CASH at the M6 Toll plaza. It may have been Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses, but this cannot be confirmed.

4) I beat them both into next week as the sheer unstoppable power of the midrange oomph of my M50d DESTROYED THEIR PUNY PETROL STYLINGS.

Another victory for common sense, and my penis. For clearly and undeniably it is bigger than those poor unfortunates driving their lowly Golf Rs. And so the wheel turns.

I look forward to muted rumblings about Petrol being great and er something about xDrive and probably somebody will talk about winter tyres.

Festive best,

The_Lurker

[gtsussex]

What a wonderful post.... Made me chuckle...

[fimmy]

I've seen at least 8 golf r's in the last 2 weeks, up here in bradford it seems to be rivalling the s3 as the drug dealers choice of car ! Lol

[Tengocity]

Fine observations and musings sir!

[dopper99]

Haha nice post
As I mentioned in a post last week, I had a brief dual with one and was surprised how well I not only kept up with him but started to gain a little in the brief few seconds we dualled.

But wait, the pro Volkswagen-ites will be on in a few minutes telling you how your car simply won't keep up with the Golf through the twisties. - (Play another record).

[dopper99]

Also on that new Top Gear DVD they had a Golf R on there - it hardly got any kind of mention (considering how good it is supposed to be) other than getting wiped out on the motorway by a Merc A45 AMG

[Tengocity]

I'm sure it's a great car but whoever in VW who chose the worst alloys I've seen since I was last in halfords really needs fired! Any of the Golf GTI alloy wheel options are way nicer.

[Nick the Greek]

As you powered past in your oil tanker, did you notice the Golf Rs interior?

[F30AM]

The best post I have read this year. What a penis you must be and then some! Had me in stitches.

Posted it on the Golf R Forum Chat Section to bring them down to earth. They will be apoplectic.

[pdk42]

Originally Posted by Nick the Greek

As you powered past in your oil tanker, did you notice the Golf Rs interior?

And were there any jewels in there?

[Matt01]

Great, just great....happy new year!!!

[F30AM]

Guys, stop being so mean and appreciate The_Lurker otherwise his penis will go flaccid.

[teaston]

Originally Posted by F30AM

The best post I have read this year. What a penis you must be and then some! Had me in stitches.

Posted it on the Golf R Forum Chat Section to bring them down to earth. They will be apoplectic.

so you don't envision them being too impressed with his amusing anecdote?

[F30AM]

Originally Posted by teaston

so you don't envision them being too impressed with his amusing anecdote?

They will turn into midgets with rigid digits or vassals with flaccid tassels for the foreseeable future.

[Ross_T_Boss]

Originally Posted by F30AM

his penis will go flaccid

With a mighty 50d engine at the mercy of his right foot, I don't think that is going to happen.

[PurpleTT]

Originally Posted by The_Lurker

...I look forward to muted rumblings about Petrol being great and er something about xDrive and probably somebody will talk about winter tyres.

The_Lurker

All joking aside, a debate over which is best: Petrol or Diesel is rather overdue.
And what is the best option, "S" or "X" drive?
Plus, I have winter tyres and am convinced they are better than summers. What do others think?

Apologies if this has been covered elsewhere.

[The_Lurker]

Originally Posted by PurpleTT

All joking aside, a debate over which is best: Petrol or Diesel is rather overdue.
And what is the best option, "S" or "X" drive?
Plus, I have winter tyres and am convinced they are better than summers. What do others think?

Apologies if this has been covered elsewhere.

I too have been waiting for months for someone to raise and debate these important issues but thus far there had been scant interest. By the way every choice you have made is wrong.

[Pablo68]

The must have been on drugs. I realise (hope) this is a tongue in cheek post and I'm no Golf fan but in a drag race the R should piss all over the X5 M50d, huge lump of torque or not. Sorry.

X5 M50D: 171.2 BHP/Ton
Golf R: 209.9 BHP/Ton

Unless the R drivers were 30 stone drug dealers or had incredibly tiny penises of course.

Next Petrol/Diesel, xDrive/sDrive debate isn't available until 1st Jan as we are all out of 2014 versions, and then only on PCP at 4.9% as it's after the 0% cut off date, sorry.

[happycow6171]

Not unless the lurker has been to acs and is now running at 430 ps?.

[JustChris]

Nice post Lurker Most disturbing was the M6 Toll paid for in cash!

[dopper99]

Originally Posted by Pablo68

The must have been on drugs. I realise (hope) this is a tongue in cheek post and I'm no Golf fan but in a drag race the R should piss all over the X5 M50d, huge lump of torque or not. Sorry.

X5 M50D: 171.2 BHP/Ton
Golf R: 209.9 BHP/Ton

Unless the R drivers were 30 stone drug dealers or had incredibly tiny penises of course.

Next Petrol/Diesel, xDrive/sDrive debate isn't available until 1st Jan as we are all out of 2014 versions, and then only on PCP at 4.9% as it's after the 0% cut off date, sorry.

I'm sorry to say, I would actually be inclined to agree. Looked up BMWs own stats on the X5 M50d and its 0-62mph and 0-1000m figures are akin to a 330d xdrive!
It actually weighs 560kg more than a 335d! It may have virtually the worlds most powerful production diesel engine - but the weight just kills it!

[davyk31]

As above, there ain't much super fast about an X5 even with the 50d engine, it's still just a development of the 3 litre engine. I had a 40d which is a few bhp below the OP's car but it was far from fast because of the 2.25 tonne weight. Also corners would be a joke against a Golf R.

Think he may be loosing the stiffy a bit by now :-)